I recently applied to a masters degree program in creative writing and was happy this morning to learn that I've been accepted, but I'm still not sure this is something I want to do.
I wish it was something I'd already done. Twenty years ago. Or even ten! Not that I think I'm too old for it, it's more like I'm too tired. I'm not sure I have the energy for it.
The thing is, it's not suppose to be like this. By now - by this point in my life - you'd think I might finally be able to relax a little. By now I should be settled into a comfortable routine. Maybe even a little bored.
You'd expect, at my age, that I'd be done becoming whoever it is I was going to be.
It seems like I've spent most of my life working toward some thing. A better day. A truer self. A fulfilling occupation. And this work has been exhausting. I'd so like to finally breathe easy.
And then there's the issue of confidence.
Not to mention the money.
What to do? What to do?